Here I sit one year since my dad passed away. As I watch over my animals and hold this beautiful baby that he never got to meet, I miss him. I just really, really miss him. The ache in my chest still throbs.
I think about all the occasions over the past year that would have been enriched by his presence, all of the meals that he would have loved, and all of the projects where I could have used his help. He would have been there for the birth of my lambs, the birth of my son, my doctoral graduation, Liam's and Seamus' birthdays, Alistair's baptism, family Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, fence repair, picking up Granby, shearing our sheep, planting my garden, making fudge for the holidays, testing out my homemade bread, March Break at the cottage, summer vacation, rebuilding my box gardens....so many things. I miss our almost daily FaceTime chats, being able to call him for advice, and my kids’ smiles after spending time with their trickster Grandpa.
I have always vaguely wondered if I could survive the passing either of my parents, they both are/have been such an integral part of my life. Now I know that I can; it just is not easy. In some moments it feels like he has been gone forever and in others like I just spoke to him a minute ago. I am blessed to be surrounded by people and animals to love and who love me but, make no mistake about it, there remains a dad-sized sore spot in my heart.
Rest in peace Dad and know that you remain so loved and very greatly missed.
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