Once we got our tree home from the forest, some trimming was necessary to fit it into the living room. My dream house would have one of those open foyers where you could fit a 20 foot tree but alas we only have 8 foot ceilings so an 8 foot tree it is. Last year, Ian and I hotly debated how tall 8 feet was as we whittled down our 15 foot tree, with me cringing at each layer of beautiful evergreen branches he sawed off the bottom to make the tree shorter. This year we agreed to keep the negotiating at a minimum by using a trusty measuring tape. Instead of sacrificing bottom branches to achieve the required height, this year I opted to cut off the 3 foot lead branch at the very top of the tree. Our star still doesn't quite fit but we have decided it looks better a bit crooked - gives it character.
After some manipulation, the tree was finally at the right height and screwed securely into the yuppie plastic tree stand that Ian made us buy the first year we were married. I think the plastic bucket with bricks and wood splints that we used to use to keep the tree upright worked just fine but Ian wasn't having it.
Next it was time to put on the lights and trim the tree. Every year we pull out the hand-me-down 1980's Christmas tree lights we inherited from my parents, plug them in and only half (at best) light up. And every year, Ian swears that the next year we will invest in new LED Christmas tree lights and then proceeds to spend at least an hour replacing all the burnt out bulbs in the old lights so that they all work again. This has been going on for 4 years and counting.
This year, when I went to strategically place the lights on the tree - alternating white and coloured light strands, of course - I quickly realized that this was no ordinary Christmas tree. I think that the tree was seriously pissed off about being cut down to be brought inside as a festive decoration and had decided to demonstrate its wrath by stabbing us every time we went close to it. You have no idea how much it hurt! I have decorated a lot of hunted trees in my time but this was something else entirely. The only way to go anywhere near the tree was to wear gardening gloves, which we did throughout the entire decorating process, and I still ended up with a rash all the way up to my elbows from all of the pin pricks.
Finally (and not a moment too soon - we were both tired of getting bitten by our vicious Christmas tree), the tree was trimmed. It looks beautiful; though, be warned - it is best appreciated from a distance!
Hey K, have you received the christmas ornaments I sent you? I hope they arrived safely.
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